As you guys probably know, I’ve been at UCSD the last 3 weeks for a summer program thing. I have enjoyed almost all of it, as I’ve mentioned on Skype and stuff, particularly because I got to meet many different type of people. There is a diversity here that definitely does not exist in Arcadia. The last few days, I have already not been particularly excited about going back home, but today it seems to have hit me even harder. While not the cause of my semi-emotional-breakdown, the thing that probably triggered the existing thoughts in my head was a conversation between a few of the people in my class during the incredibly boring graduation rehearsal.
They were talking about their experiences at parties and stuff, including doing stupid things while drunk and just other things they do, a conversation which I clearly, could have no participation in. It’s not that I have a desire to get super drunk and not remember the events of a whole night or anything, but just listening to them made me realize the stark contrast between their lives and mine.
Tim was saying yesterday that he thinks the only really different thing about Arcadia is it being upper middle class. I almost completely disagree. Being able to drive down the street, and see almost all restaurant and store signs written in Chinese is not something that can happen in just any city in America. While I know that there are drugs/alcohol/parties and stuff in Arcadia, it is clearly not a cultural norm as it is elsewhere. It’s definitely not just about the drugs and stuff either; that’s just the most obvious example. Another pretty clear example is how much more aware people seem to be of national/political issues, topics which from my experience are rarely heard of in Arcadia.
The whole culture and atmosphere of Arcadia is just not the same as the rest of America. Think about it. How many Asian Arcadians do you know whose parents were born here? Almost everyone I know was either born in Asia, or had parents born in Asia. Off the top of my head, I can think of only one acquaintance of mine who has parents born here, fluent in English, and totally familiar with American culture. Yeah, there are nonasian people in Arcadia too, but as they are a minority, they visibly do not have that much influence over the overall atmosphere of Arcadia, a clearly Asian-dominated town.
I know that you’re supposed to be “prideful” or whatever in your background and where you came from, but honestly, I am not. Like I said on skype, most of the time I have no problem fitting in, but when I think deeper, there are inherent differences because of how different of a place I grew up in. Some people are fine with remaining in the whole Asian/American-born Asian way of life, but that is not me. What happens in China/Hong Kong/Taiwan is no more relevant to me than what happens in France or Saudi Arabia. It’s not just that, I think that my whole mindset/philosophy/interest is more American than Asian.
I guess that I kind of wish I was born and raised in a “typical” American family. But I know that I wasn’t, and that I can’t change that. My dad has warned me plenty of times that it may be difficult to fit into mainstream American society because I will probably be looked at as closer to the FOB’s than to Americans. And even if people don’t consciously discriminate this way, I still have grown up my whole life in an environment not like most people I will meet.
The other option is to just “embrace” my Asianess and just do what the path of a model Arcadian is. Go to a good school, study all day, get a fairly high paying job, marry an Asian girl, maybe have a kid, send the kid to an Arcadia-y school and continue the cycle. All while remaining contained in Asian interests, activities, and interactions. It’s a valid path, I guess, and it’s much easier, and may be more comfortable for some. But not for me. That’s not what I want to do.
That leaves me in stuck, in between two cultures, one that I would like to be a part of, but can never totally be in, and one that I wish to leave behind, but may never be escapable. And I don’t think that the Middle Way is the best path to take in this case. To forever be torn apart, in what might be described as isolation. That may be one of my biggest fears.
Oh right, I will (probably) write an actual post on the program soon, one that is less pseudo-philosophical and more optmistic.
Above all, it’s wonderful that you’ve had such a good experience there. Thinking under more Asian premises… this would make a good college essay, although I hate to say that because I hate doing things just to decorate college applications.
Interesting, a graduation rehearsal? Sounds very interesting! Hahaha, did you guys line up in caps and gowns and, what, practice turning the tussles and tossing the caps?
Not necessarily bad.
Being drunk is excessively dangerous, especially unsupervised. Don’t do it until you have a hassling wife to babysit you. Also, remember to designate a driver!
*born in Asia* :)
True. But again, humans are amazing creatures. We can adapt to any environment beautifully. Don’t worry about not fitting in — you’ll be fine in life.
You will bring diversity to the table. Your unique surroundings will become a quaint and merry topic of conversation to your more typical American companions. It’s a point that will become a plus, an ace up your sleeve if played well.
From what I’ve seen, most people grow sick of Arcadian thinking, leave for college as far as they can get from their parents, and live their American lives happily and normally.
There are whites who’d sell their souls to be able to interact with another culture and be treated as a native is. You are treated as a native in America, and if you ever would like to experience Asian culture or life, you won’t be treated as a “gaijin” and gawked at on the streets of Shanghai. It’s great, really.
It’s not that I have a desire to get super drunk and not remember the events of a whole night or anything,
I do.
Another pretty clear example is how much more aware people seem to be of national/political issues, topics which from my experience are rarely heard of in Arcadia.
Yeah, most Asian parents probably don’t care about political issues or aren’t aware of them, but I think there are Asian teenagers/young adults/w/e that are aware. There are also a lot that don’t care, which yeah could be b/c of their parents. But I don’t really find that element that necessary, although you personally probably want to talk to someone about that, which is why you want people that are politically aware.
I know that you’re supposed to be “prideful” or whatever in your background and where you came from, but honestly,
Being prideful doesn’t mean that you have to know/care about events or politics in your hometown. Being prideful could just be being proud that you are the ethnicity you were born into, part of accepting your cultural identity.
The other option is to just “embrace” my Asianess and just do what the path of a model Arcadian is. Go to a good school, study all day, get a fairly high paying job, marry an Asian girl, maybe have a kid, send the kid to an Arcadia-y school and continue the cycle. All while remaining contained in Asian interests, activities, and interactions. It’s a valid path, I guess, and it’s much easier, and may be more comfortable for some. But not for me. That’s not what I want to do.
Embracing your Asianess doesn’t necessarily mean doing what the stereotypical Asian is supposed to do. Asian is an ethnicity, not a lifestyle. To me, embracing your Asianess is just accepting it.
That leaves me in stuck, in between two cultures, one that I would like to be a part of, but can never totally be in, and one that I wish to leave behind, but may never be escapable.
I’ve heard about Asians that feel like they don’t belong b/c they’re stuck in between two worlds. I personally don’t feel like I have this identity problem. But as I go to college and then eventually to work, I do sorta expect that I’ll be uncomfortable being the minority, and be stereotyped. It might also be hard to be accepted because of it. I hope I don’t wish I was white when that time comes.
That leaves me in stuck, in between two cultures, one that I would like to be a part of, but can never totally be in, and one that I wish to leave behind, but may never be escapable. I really don’t think that you’re missing out that much on American culture. It’s not that different from Asianess: go to college, community or w/e, get a typical job, marry, have kids, send kids to school, don’t care about their grades as long as they don’t fail, bounce grandbabies on your lap, then you die. All while remaining contained in American interests, activities, and interactions.The Asian “circle of life” is not that much different from the American cycle or from any other cycle, Indian or w/e.
Since this is a commnet, there may be stuff I’ve overlooked or not thoroughly went through and what not.
Above all, it’s wonderful that you’ve had such a good experience there. Thinking under more Asian premises… this would make a good college essay, although I hate to say that because I hate doing things just to decorate college applications.
lol, idk how useful this would be on a college essay. Maybe, but I don’t know if they like all the racial stuff, and it is kind of pessimistic.
Interesting, a graduation rehearsal? Sounds very interesting! Hahaha, did you guys line up in caps and gowns and, what, practice turning the tussles and tossing the caps?
We don’t have gowns for a summer camp graduation, lol. The whole graduation at the end of 3 weeks is kind of stupid anyway. It’s incredibly boring, mostly just for teachers to give speeches.
Not necessarily bad.
Being drunk is excessively dangerous, especially unsupervised. Don’t do it until you have a hassling wife to babysit you. Also, remember to designate a driver!
Well, I guess it’s good that I’m not doing stupid stuff, but it’s bad that we’re totally unexposed to something that is normal in many places, including college.
*born in Asia* :)
Yeah, I know, lol. Interesting question, which nation do you support at like, the Olympics, and stuff? USA or China? Or do you just not care.
True. But again, humans are amazing creatures. We can adapt to any environment beautifully. Don’t worry about not fitting in — you’ll be fine in life.
Maybe we can, but others may not necessarily be willing to adapt to you.
From what I’ve seen, most people grow sick of Arcadian thinking, leave for college as far as they can get from their parents, and live their American lives happily and normally.
How large is your sample size for this? And I guess some of it depends on your definition of “American life”
There are whites who’d sell their souls to be able to interact with another culture and be treated as a native is.
I don’t want to be able to interact with another culture, though, I want to be treated normally in what I consider my own culture.
You are treated as a native in America,
I hope so, but to many people, I might not seem like that.
and if you ever would like to experience Asian culture or life, you won’t be treated as a “gaijin” and gawked at on the streets of Shanghai. It’s great, really.
Idk if this is considered offensive, but I don’t ever want to go to China, lol. Doesn’t seem like a pleasant place. Idk what gajijn is, but I assume it’s foreigner or something? I think I would stand out, because I’ve heard that Chinese people usually can identify American Asians by their behavior and stuff. Similar to how we can tell FOB’s over here. And also, I wouldn’t be able to communicate with anyone, lol.
You can always make something fit a particular taste.
Doesn’t sound like much of a graduation then ><
At least the students could give speeches?
It’s not something that’s a prerequisite for college or life or your future job or anything. It’s not like it can go on your resume.
You got it — I probably just wouldn’t care. I’d probably pick a random country to support, like Sweden or Estonia. Go Estonia!
But if we’re talking about the International Physics Olympiad… go US team!
So adapt to them. You’re the winner, they’re the losers.
Just my general gist of people who leave Arcadia. I guess Jason has a large influence because I stayed with him for like four days.
Eventually your coworkers will figure out that you are as American as they are. Take the lead and show them outright.
Find people who see you as American, and stick around those.
gaijin = foreigner, white person in japanese. If you put some studying in you could easily pass, because China is so diverse they won’t be able to tell if you came from Xi’an or from America, so they’ll accept you as “just another Chinese from somewhere” and not “American Asian”.
I personally hope to be able to do this.
Yeah, most Asian parents probably don’t care about political issues or aren’t aware of them, but I think there are Asian teenagers/young adults/w/e that are aware. There are also a lot that don’t care, which yeah could be b/c of their parents. But I don’t really find that element that necessary, although you personally probably want to talk to someone about that, which is why you want people that are politically aware.
I do find it necessary that people are politically aware, partly because it’s interesting to talk to people about it, but also because it’s important to our democratic process that people are politically aware. Our country would be in better shape if there weren’t so many uncaring and/or idiotic people.
Embracing your Asianess doesn’t necessarily mean doing what the stereotypical Asian is supposed to do. Asian is an ethnicity, not a lifestyle. To me, embracing your Asianess is just accepting it.
Well, I’m mostly using Asian to mean the whole lifestyle/culture, not just the racial appearance, because that’s not where the main differences are.
I’ve heard about Asians that feel like they don’t belong b/c they’re stuck in between two worlds.
Yeah, Amy Tan made a whole career out of writing about it.
I personally don’t feel like I have this identity problem. But as I go to college and then eventually to work, I do sorta expect that I’ll be uncomfortable being the minority, and be stereotyped. It might also be hard to be accepted because of it. I hope I don’t wish I was white when that time comes.
Yeah, I guess here is where we go back to what you were saying about just the whole racial appearance aspect. I don’t like to say it, but I do think that being white just makes it much easier in America.
I really don’t think that you’re missing out that much on American culture. It’s not that different from Asianess: go to college, community or w/e, get a typical job, marry, have kids, send kids to school, don’t care about their grades as long as they don’t fail, bounce grandbabies on your lap, then you die. All while remaining contained in American interests, activities, and interactions.The Asian “circle of life” is not that much different from the American cycle or from any other cycle, Indian or w/e.
It’s those “American interests activities, and interactions” that make the big difference. It’s not trivial.
Doesn’t sound like much of a graduation then ><
At least the students could give speeches?
It isn’t. And there’s 400 students, so no speeches, lol.
It’s not something that’s a prerequisite for college or life or your future job or anything. It’s not like it can go on your resume.
Yeah, but it’s nice to know about the things around you. I was totally unfamiliar with what goes on and the protocol and stuff for dances/nightclub-style parties before the camp, and I’m glad I at least know some stuff now.
You got it — I probably just wouldn’t care. I’d probably pick a random country to support, like Sweden or Estonia. Go Estonia!
I knew you would say something like that.
Just my general gist of people who leave Arcadia. I guess Jason has a large influence because I stayed with him for like four days.
He’s still in college, though, so we don’t know what he’ll do with the rest of his life. And Stanford isn’t exactly “as far as possible”, lol.
Eventually your coworkers will figure out that you are as American as they are. Take the lead and show them outright.
I do/will try to, but that’s the thing, it’s annoying to have to make it an active thing to do.
Find people who see you as American, and stick around those.
I definitely will for my friends and stuff, but for just situations where you meet and judge people quickly, you don’t have the luxury of doing that.
gaijin = foreigner, white person in japanese. If you put some studying in you could easily pass, because China is so diverse they won’t be able to tell if you came from Xi’an or from America, so they’ll accept you as “just another Chinese from somewhere” and not “American Asian”.
I personally hope to be able to do this.
lol, if by “some studying” you mean “learn another language” then sure. But I don’t really have that much desire to do that. I’m sure you can be able to do this, since you were actually born in China/know the language/have been there many times. Unless you mean you want to do this in Japan. Then idk.
lol just being politically aware doesn’t make you not idiotic or help the democratic process. Alot of people are just blindly Democratic or Republican. It’s more the people that support Sarah Palin or George Bush that are the problem than the people that don’t care at all.
It’s those “American interests activities, and interactions” that make the big difference. It’s not trivial.
I don’t know what you mean by those specifically, and so I don’t know why they’re so important to you. lol the first thing that comes to mind from “American interests, activities, and interactions” is a Fourth of July barbeque.
lol just being politically aware doesn’t make you not idiotic or help the democratic process. Alot of people are just blindly Democratic or Republican. It’s more the people that support Sarah Palin or George Bush that are the problem than the people that don’t care at all.
Well yeah, people who are blindly partisan are the worst, but people who don’t care, don’t know about anything, and don’t vote are the reason why the stupid radical people can have so much political power. If more reasonable people were knowledgeable and expressed their opinion/voted, we would be better off.
I don’t know what you mean by those specifically, and so I don’t know why they’re so important to you. lol the first thing that comes to mind from “American interests, activities, and interactions” is a Fourth of July barbeque.
Well, it’s hard to explain, but just some everyday way of life things, as well as like, moral values and stuff. I guess I don’t have a concrete definition for it, I just know that the way Asian families live their lives is different than the way American families do.
Protocol? Isn’t it just, you go, you drink the spiked punch, and you wake up the next morning with no recollection of what you did the last night? Three easy steps!
But seriously… my idea is:
Hey, don’t think of it as like a disability or anything.
That you have to put extra effort in to overcome.
You gain the advantage of a highly advanced technical brain burnished through generations of harsh natural selection. The only price you have to pay for this superior functional organ is to force yourself to become more outgoing to express your American ideas in order to seek acceptance. However, you should be outgoing to get other people to like you anyways — even if you were as white as a lamb, sitting there quietly won’t gain you any love.
Well, actually, I like quiet people.
I really don’t think Americans are that prejudiced.
Protocol? Isn’t it just, you go, you drink the spiked punch, and you wake up the next morning with no recollection of what you did the last night? Three easy steps!
lol, well, all our stuff was monitored, but I didn’t hear stories of stuff like that, no memory of last night, or jumping off a 15 foot bridge because “it seemed like a good idea at the time”
But seriously… my idea is:
Well, it was a camp, so I learned more about like, the actual dancing and stuff at the party than what happens before and after, but I think it is probably like that.
You gain the advantage of a highly advanced technical brain burnished through generations of harsh natural selection. The only price you have to pay for this superior functional organ is to force yourself to become more outgoing to express your American ideas in order to seek acceptance. However, you should be outgoing to get other people to like you anyways — even if you were as white as a lamb, sitting there quietly won’t gain you any love.
Well, the one thing that I did benefit from because of Arcadia at the camp was the ability to do math shortcuts and stuff in order to finish work faster than everything else. But yeah, idk if it’s worth that cost.
I really don’t think Americans are that prejudiced.
Most people aren’t, as I saw from the camp, most people are cool, smart, and not prejudicial. But some prejudice still exists, even if it’s just subconscious.