A drop of life; to dilute all else

October 6th, 2009 by ben Leave a reply »

Today, I cleaned my room. I found the wallet I had lost for three weeks, and dug up a bunch of stuff way back from Anime Expo and my Hawaii trip.

I’m glad I stayed home from school today. My room got 420% cleaner today, and although I don’t really feel that much better, I’m sure I’d feel much worse if I had gone to school.

I’m worried about my grades (not that there’s anyone who isn’t in AHS). I may only have been absent for two days, but a lot can happen in two days, and if a teacher just doesn’t want to give you points or make up work no matter what, there’s nothing you can do. That’s why I really don’t like staying home from school unless it’s a really bad fever. It’s unfair for the school to be doing this, and, in fact, I think it should be illegal, because depraved students like me are going to school with fevers and causing viruses and disease to spread like wildfire.

When I grow up, I wish I could invent a cure for all flus and colds. Haha, then I’d be like “HAHA! Take that!” and spit in the face of all human-compatible rhinoviruses. In fact, I’ll render them completely extinct. While I’m doing that, I might as well also genocide mosquitoes, dust mites, and female anime characters sporting glasses.

*~*~*~*

To be honest, I am quite a busy person. I have so much to do, too much to do, yet somehow I always find time to watch anime, read manga, and write blog posts. I wish I could freeze time around like a ten-meter radius and do anything I want, for as long as I want. That would truly be heaven. I wonder if God provides such a service.

*~*~*~*

You know how sometimes, if you stare at a math problem enough, somehow, randomly, out of the blue, the solution just comes to you? Well, that’s not happening. The stare method is not always effective, folks, be warned. It may work against weak-minded clone troopers, schoolground bullies, and used tire salesmen, but this trick will not work with many other things, e.g. computers.

I propose a new method of dealing with these problems. I call it effective, efficient utilization of physical violence for the purpose of problem solving. You know how they always push the “art” of problem solving? If problem solving can be considered an art, why can’t it also be considered a violent gang shoot-out?

This method is guaranteed to be more effective than the stare method. If you stare at your Microsoft’d computer screen after it refuses to function, nothing will be achieved. However, if you bang it up a bit, give it a piece of your mind, show that piece of scrap metal what you’re made of, something new might happen.

Alternatively, get a Mac.

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4 comments

  1. Justin says:

    “I may only have been absent for two days, but a lot can happen in two days, and if a teacher just doesn’t want to give you points or make up work no matter what, there’s nothing you can do”
    Actually if u hav the re-admit, and its an excused absant, legally, u r able to recieve the work, and extra time to be able to complete those.
    just dont say that 2 the teacher, i dont think they would like it. I would find it on a .gov site, print it out, and etc….
    that is if u want to do that.

  2. Justin says:

    OrOrOr.
    Ctrl-Shoft-Esc
    Processess tab
    End all ur SYSTEM processesssss
    Lol.
    Ive nvr tried, and i nvr will

  3. Benji says:

    Actually, Justin, I’m surprised you bothered reading this, as you would call it, “wall of text” >_<

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